他说：“这是一个很好的选择。”Everything will be perfectly fine if this horse would do what I want."Do you ever have that thought?Do you get frustrated when you can't get your horse to do what you want?你的挫败感会被传给你的马吗？Is it really about not being able to control everything your horse does?控制对你意味着什么？Think about that a minute,拜托。
控制在汽车里是件好事，airplanes and chainsaws.对马的控制就像一些关系……”这很复杂。”为了安全，maintenance and general care,it is a must.为了获得最好的马的全部能力，control can restrict him or even flat out ruin him.他为自己着想很重要。没有多余的时间去思考，当然也没有时间去思考。
一匹被控制过度的马会有点犹豫，some doubts.One who has been controlled to the point of abuse will not think at all.He'll always be at the edge of quitting,因为他不能做出决定。当马到达那个点时，no matter how much control you always maintained over this horse,you now have none.你从来没有真正做到过，you just thought you did.
马会为你做事，因为它们想为你做事。A horse that does things because of you is a lesser horse.那匹马不想上那辆拖车。良好的控制意味着那匹马进入是因为他信任你，而你想让他上马。You did it with firmness;you didn't let him say,他说：“这是一个很好的选择。”No."You did it with patience.You let him think a little – you might have even bribed him a little – but he finally loaded and it was a good experience.或者你让他负重。You got mad and made him scared.拖车什么也没吓到他。You sent a signal that you were ready to make this happen,at any effort.That horse figured,他说：“这是一个很好的选择。”This can't be good if my person is nervous or mad,或者两者兼而有之。”在这两种情况下，主要目的都发生了——你让马上膛了。
第一匹马继续学习拖车礼仪，was always easy to load,站在拖车上准备鞍座，拖车的经历从未被带到展览的围栏上。The other horse became a quirky loader – most times,他只是装。犯下最轻微的错误，though,and he ain't loading.Something as simple as a glance at his eye as you approach the trailer and you have turned into a 400-pound saber-toothed tiger.Or he"收费预告片的想法,他说：“这是一个很好的选择。”只要我不在拖车里，什么好事都不会发生。”这是一个很好的方法，让人辗转反侧或猛然倒地。
现在回去把马换成人。Just like horses,nothing good will come from trying to control everything in the people around you.I'm pretty sure you don't like being controlled,being ordered around,getting demands instead of requests.员工必须按老板说的做，but a request puts more"想要”而不是需求。Good people do better when they can think,当他们有舒适感尝试不同的东西时。如果他们没有这种自由，这样他们就不会浪费时间去想更好的方法。You don't want to come home from the horse show to find your home burnt up because you always told them to call the fire department if the barn caught fire,but you neglected to tell them the same thing about the house.
Insisting on everything revolving around you and making yourself the center of your universe will have the same effect as a real universe – a black hole whose gravitational pull is so great the weight of all it controls collapses it.Trying to obtain something that is not obtainable is such a waste of time.接受你真的没有任何控制力，并且努力适应发生的事情是自由的。It creates time in your life.Getting people and horses to want what you want will create the rewards of your dreams.
如果你认为你有任何控制权，想象一下接电话听到孩子说，他说：“这是一个很好的选择。”我发现了一个肿块，surgery at 4.你能来医院吗？他说：“这是一个很好的选择。”他说：“这是一个很好的选择。”